#EZTin3D Ep 1: Pilot To Nowhere

Welcome to this new series named "#EZTin3D". Here I will briefly explore personal thoughts which I hope will relate to others or just be a good outlet. There's no set timeline on how often these posts will be up and for how long, but I said I'd do it and I did it.

Dear Dumb Diary,
I AM WATERING AN EMPTY POT

It all started with this. While I identify as an INTP, what the ENTP lady said really resonated with me. Starting at the 13:40 mark, she mentions how she has practically done pretty much everything on her bucketlist and is now living life rather aimlessly.

The rest tried to help her out and while I agree that some of their suggestions are valid, it still does not fill the big void that I have.

Personal Reflection

I am 31 years old and completely lost in life. There are no jobs that truly interest me and I don’t have a stable/promising career, I am not married and doubt I will ever be. Which also probably means that it is unlikely that I will be a mother to my own little one. I might not even be able to afford my own house when I legally can get one. I will just be stuck here, physically and in theory.

I used to be full of ambitions when I was younger, and I made sure to achieve them before I reach the age to “settle down”. Now that I’m of that age and would be more than happy to be a house-owner, wife and a mom, I’m realising that it might not happen for me.

Conclusion

It's easy for me to keep being enthusiastic in life. I’m thankful for my life and live the best I can, but every night I feel like I’m just counting down my days to die.

Nowadays I make petty goals to keep a reason to be alive but honestly, I am very empty and yearning for some deeper meaning. Every day I think to myself - there’s gotta be more to life.

© EZTS8.