SPECIAL POST!. ^^ \m/
This is typed with dedication to the recent passing of my dearly beloved grandmother, so please pardon any discrepancies that seems out of my character/not in line with the rules of any languages.
I also understand that I might be over-romanticizing certain things which may come off as lame, and it is totally fine by me if you refuse to read this in it's entirety for whatever reason it may be. Lastly, I will be trying to keep it chronological as always, and may keep updating this as time goes on.
I also understand that I might be over-romanticizing certain things which may come off as lame, and it is totally fine by me if you refuse to read this in it's entirety for whatever reason it may be. Lastly, I will be trying to keep it chronological as always, and may keep updating this as time goes on.
 |
| A paparazzi picture I took of my Nyai helping me to carry my soft toy at the Australian airport |
Prelude
Friday: 20 Sept 19.Last minute-ish called for work, I only managed to down a small bowl of her Spinach soup with rice. She mentioned how she didn't know I'd be working today and that I usually don't work Fridays. True enough, that meal gave me comfort to what turned out to be a long day.
Saturday: 21 Sept 19.
It was my off day, and I was greeted with negative news. My first nephew's leg got stuck in a bicycle, and I was really bothered at how my mum and Gmum were overreacting.
Gmum wanted to shower and pray, but she told me she wanted to stay by the phone to get updates on my nephew. I told her to go ahead anyway because they're still waiting for him to see the doctor and it would take some time. She did.
It turns out to be a minor injury, which I gladly updated her when she's out of the toilet. She prayed for longer than usual that day anyway.
Sunday: 22 Sept 19.
As previously planned, we all went to our aunt's house to celebrate two of my cousins birthdays. Everyone in the family blood circle was there.
Had an okay day at work, and went on to have dinner outside afterwards. Next thing I know, I come home at about 8 in the evening to my little sister saying in a cutesy voice "Yot [a nickname for my Gmum] sick", which I thought she said "milkshake" so I chuckled.
Lin [lil sis]: *in a more serious tone* It's quite scary actually
EZT [me]: Wait. What did you say just now?
Lin: Yot sick
EZT: Ohhh I thought you said milkshake, so I laughed coz it's so random. Then I'm like what's so scary about milkshakes...
Lin: She's in the kitchen now with mum
I hurried to the kitchen to see my dad trying to fan my mum while she wet towels my Gmum, who was lying down on the kitchen toilet floor, dazed and weary. "Quite scary" was an understatement.
Someone mentions briefly about how her blood pressure is very high, as I coincidentally asked if they have called an ambulance. Was told that they wanted to calm her down first before sending her over. Agreed.
In retrospect, it was good that she wasn't immediately sent over, as it turned out to be their last bonding moment in this life. I later found that she did not even want to go to the hospital, and said that she just needed a massage and she'll be fine.Sasuga Nyai :')
So I went to the master bedroom toilet to settle myself upon reaching home, and something just felt really heavy. Lin and I were stuck in my parents' room as I saw them wheel out my Gmum on a stretcher device.
A "massage" wasn't going to cut it.
Seeing her transient consciousness as she reaches the front gate, I yelled "Bye Nyai, love you!~". Those were my last words to her and even though she did not respond, I want to believe that she heard me. It's so crazy how less than 12 hours ago, she was around the same area, and it was also me saying my goodbyes to her as I left for work.
Lin told me that Gmum was truly okay for the rest of the day too, and that this was sudden. By this time, my aunt [who is Gmum's first child] and her husband had came over. We shared some small talk to break the tension, but something tells me this was not going to be easy.
Prior to this, my Gmum had suffered from stroke which she miraculously recovered from pretty decently. Sometime later, she fell and broke her arm. Both of which I didn't visit her because I was busy/hate hospitals/knew she was coming back.
This time though, something just gave me a gut feel that she might not be coming back - at least not alive. Not long after, my #lil1212bro and Dad decided to go over to the hospital too while my Gmum goes for a brain scan.
I don't know why but I was so tired. Lin was trying to rush her assignment and I was just trying to get some rest in my room. A while later, she came over to my room door.
Lin: I have not good news
EZT: Hit me
Lin: They messaged me and said Nyai had a ruptured brain vessel. It's so scary because I just learned about this in school
EZT: *absolutely unprepared for such information* I thought you said you had good news!!
Lin: No, I said I had NOT good news
EZT: *awkwardly jokes about how her news delivery is off today*
She was pretty set on Gmum not making it, and said she would want to go over to the hospital also if someone picks her up and asked if I wanted to tag along. I mulled about it as I hesitantly prepared to have guests over, with the foresight that a death is surely expected.
We talked about how we're going to have to deal with it sooner or later, and how this couldn't happen at a better time. My Gmum had went to Gold Coast with us, and Malacca with Uncle Joe [her last child], and we had the great birthday celebration at Aunt Kay's place last Sunday.
Eventually I told my sister that I would respect whatever decision the family makes at the hospital, and that I wanted to retain my last memory of her at the front door [plus I was really exhausted].
So I decided to stay at home. Like I always do. That night was one of the worst sleeps of my life.
Tue: 24 Sept 19.
Briefly awakened by familiar voices, I went back to sleep. It was my relatives from Malaysia who had come over for morning prayers. Thankfully, my Dad was around to open the door for them.
I continued to sleep because in my dream, I had flashbacks of a normal day with my Gmum around. A part of me still believed I would live to see another day with her. A few hours later, I was awakened by more familiar voices.
It felt as if I woke up beneath a different sky. The voices turned out to be my cousin Din and his family, which consists of my first nephew and niece, who kept yelling for me. I rushed to open the door, mucus still in my eyes due to my eye condition.
Adek [niece]: Yot mane?. [=Where's Yot? (aka my Gmum)]
EZT: Yot sick...
Adek: Yot sleep?? Inside?.
Think she's just used to coming over and seeing Gmum here that it just came out of her. Realizing she hasn't taken off her sandals, I told her to do so outside so she ran back out for a bit.
Which I then turned to Din and asked "by the way, how is she?" and he solemnly replied "Nyai already passed away, they bringing the body here". I felt my heart tear apart!!
I was like "Ok, I'll get ready then" as Din and his wife settled themselves to help to further set up the house. Before I left to wash up, Adek was just standing there hugging a plush toy, looking at me. Could she possibly know that I'm heartbroken?!
So I asked her for a hug [which she ran towards me and let me give her a big one] before breaking down in the toilet. Not like it's a surprise, but it still hurts somehow, and a lot.
When things settled a little, I found out that Gmum was on life support this morning and they decided to not proceed with the operation [that had a 3%ish success rate, and even if it was successful, she won't be fully functional]. I guess, this is the best solution that we all could and have to accept.
Little by little, the rest of the family has reached. Went to hug my mum when I saw her and she was like "at least she [Gmum] never suffered eh" in between tears. Can't agree more.
Everything else took so long yet it feels like it happened so fast. Despite not burning the midnight oil at the hospital, I remember being hungry and sleepy, and just trying to keep myself in a manageable state of mind.
I vaguely remember cutting up some Sara Lee cakes to which my adorable nephew and niece offered to be my assistants. While my nephew understood the situation, his sister was being her usual goofball self. Little did I know, they would be the mood vitamin/happy pill that helped to get me[/us?.] through this long, heavy day.
Before I knew it, I was seeing the corpse being brought into the house. Iqa [my nephew] asked if he could help when he's bigger. My Gmum used to say that Iqa is so naughty and witty but "dalam hati ada taman"[="there's a garden in his heart" aka he is a sweetie deep down]. She's right.
The mortician and some relatives bathed the corpse, and next thing I knew they opened the batik cover to reveal the face. This is really it.
Gmum looked adorable, even in death. I haven't seen her look so peaceful in a long time. We took turns to kiss the corpse goodbye, as we all try to hold back our tears.
After everyone had their turn, we found out that the burial will be held back as my Gmum is a Malaysian and they need to liaise with them about some things. It was tough seeing her body just laying there for a few hours. Thankfully the neighbours and other relatives came down and they too managed to see and kiss her off, so I guess it was worth it.
Once we got the green light, we went downstairs to proceed with the funeral process. I saw another old grandmother-relative and it was so good to see her still alive, as I did not get to go around much last Raya due to my contraction of chicken pox.
Nyai is finally in a casket. We all then got in a bus to head to the burial site. I sat with my sister and there was this air of mixed feelings in the bus. So many thoughts went through my mind, and I bet it was the same for everyone else's.
When we reached the spot, the funeral conductor guided in burying the casket properly, before saying more parting words. I briefly remember nagging at Adek for playing with the rocks near the grave, and Iqa saying "bye Yot~" as I watch Aunt Kay, my mum, and Uncle Joe pour a pandan leaves and flowers solution on the grave.
The rest of us then got to sprinkle a handful or two of flowers on the grave, while I get to let go of the rest of those in the bag. What a sight.
On the way back in the bus, Iqa and Adek kept sticking to my mum and making audible jokes that got the rest of us a little cheered up in such sorrowful situations.
The rest of the day flew over my head. As expected, my Gmum is famous!. There were many people who came down non-stop to send their condolences. Some I haven't seen in the longest of times.
It's as though, I feel my heart being glued back up, but the glue has yet to dry.
Not sure if I'm just anti-social or was tired; it felt like some people overstayed their welcome. However, most guests were really nice and kind. I can't thank you all enough!!
Between asking if I'm okay, if I will be okay, sharing your parting regrets and stories about the deceased and listening to mine. Worrying about the future together. Thank you...
Honestly, I generally don't grief. It does however, put my soul at ease at the very least. We all slept hard and hardly slept that night.
Woke up to the death certificate in the family Whatsapp chat. She has passed on after 78 years of life, while I am currently 28 years old. I can't help but think of my last memories with her.
More guest came over in the morning, and it wouldn't stop raining. I wasn't trying to over-dramatic, but I'm glad some people noticed it and messaged me about it.
Prior to this, I had a non-refundable staycation booked on impulse due to a limited time offer. It would be a waste to not go, so I forced myself to go out. The moment I left the house, it felt as though someone was watching over me.
I ate and slept to my heart's content, void of any unnecessary interactions. Had some time to gather my thoughts over a great hot shower, waste time with generic media, and consumed steaming hot cup noodles and tea in the comfort of an air-conditioned room.
Here's a random list of things I recalled:
Regardless, good and bad, no doubt she is one of the 100 Most Influential People of my time and world.
Thu: 26 Sept 19.
Upon checking out, I proceeded with my day as per normal. Even got dragged to food tasting event before reporting to work.
Not sure if they didn't expect me to come, but it felt like my workmates were walking on eggshells. The day went by pretty fast and painlessly until,..
I went for a toilet break and as I was walking into the bathroom, an old grandmother figure came out and nodded her head in acknowledgement of my presence.
Somehow "bye bye~" left my mouth and she repeated it back to me. When I got into the cubicle, I had a mini-breakdown at the toilet bowl.
The sad realization that I would never get these fleeting moments of interaction with my Gmum hurts.
I collected myself and went back to work, before reaching home and being stuck outside as some relatives had came over to collectively pray for my late Gmum.
Since I came back with many plastic bags from the staycay, the kids got curious and I gave Iqa and Adek a muffin each. As expected, they made this time a lot less sadder than I think it would be. I'm so glad I went to enough family gatherings to experience my Gmum's companionship in it's full glory.
Thanks to the evolution of technology and my vanity, I am glad to have some photos to remember her by. This small spread pales in comparison to our bond, but there's barely anything else that I have much left.
What more can I say, Nyai is truly a work of art, just like Starry Night :)
Gmum wanted to shower and pray, but she told me she wanted to stay by the phone to get updates on my nephew. I told her to go ahead anyway because they're still waiting for him to see the doctor and it would take some time. She did.
It turns out to be a minor injury, which I gladly updated her when she's out of the toilet. She prayed for longer than usual that day anyway.
Sunday: 22 Sept 19.
As previously planned, we all went to our aunt's house to celebrate two of my cousins birthdays. Everyone in the family blood circle was there.
D-day
Mon: 23 Sept 19.Had an okay day at work, and went on to have dinner outside afterwards. Next thing I know, I come home at about 8 in the evening to my little sister saying in a cutesy voice "Yot [a nickname for my Gmum] sick", which I thought she said "milkshake" so I chuckled.
Lin [lil sis]: *in a more serious tone* It's quite scary actually
EZT [me]: Wait. What did you say just now?
Lin: Yot sick
EZT: Ohhh I thought you said milkshake, so I laughed coz it's so random. Then I'm like what's so scary about milkshakes...
Lin: She's in the kitchen now with mum
I hurried to the kitchen to see my dad trying to fan my mum while she wet towels my Gmum, who was lying down on the kitchen toilet floor, dazed and weary. "Quite scary" was an understatement.
Someone mentions briefly about how her blood pressure is very high, as I coincidentally asked if they have called an ambulance. Was told that they wanted to calm her down first before sending her over. Agreed.
In retrospect, it was good that she wasn't immediately sent over, as it turned out to be their last bonding moment in this life. I later found that she did not even want to go to the hospital, and said that she just needed a massage and she'll be fine.
So I went to the master bedroom toilet to settle myself upon reaching home, and something just felt really heavy. Lin and I were stuck in my parents' room as I saw them wheel out my Gmum on a stretcher device.
A "massage" wasn't going to cut it.
Seeing her transient consciousness as she reaches the front gate, I yelled "Bye Nyai, love you!~". Those were my last words to her and even though she did not respond, I want to believe that she heard me. It's so crazy how less than 12 hours ago, she was around the same area, and it was also me saying my goodbyes to her as I left for work.
Lin told me that Gmum was truly okay for the rest of the day too, and that this was sudden. By this time, my aunt [who is Gmum's first child] and her husband had came over. We shared some small talk to break the tension, but something tells me this was not going to be easy.
Prior to this, my Gmum had suffered from stroke which she miraculously recovered from pretty decently. Sometime later, she fell and broke her arm. Both of which I didn't visit her because I was busy/hate hospitals/knew she was coming back.
This time though, something just gave me a gut feel that she might not be coming back - at least not alive. Not long after, my #lil1212bro and Dad decided to go over to the hospital too while my Gmum goes for a brain scan.
I don't know why but I was so tired. Lin was trying to rush her assignment and I was just trying to get some rest in my room. A while later, she came over to my room door.
Lin: I have not good news
EZT: Hit me
Lin: They messaged me and said Nyai had a ruptured brain vessel. It's so scary because I just learned about this in school
EZT: *absolutely unprepared for such information* I thought you said you had good news!!
Lin: No, I said I had NOT good news
EZT: *awkwardly jokes about how her news delivery is off today*
She was pretty set on Gmum not making it, and said she would want to go over to the hospital also if someone picks her up and asked if I wanted to tag along. I mulled about it as I hesitantly prepared to have guests over, with the foresight that a death is surely expected.
We talked about how we're going to have to deal with it sooner or later, and how this couldn't happen at a better time. My Gmum had went to Gold Coast with us, and Malacca with Uncle Joe [her last child], and we had the great birthday celebration at Aunt Kay's place last Sunday.
Eventually I told my sister that I would respect whatever decision the family makes at the hospital, and that I wanted to retain my last memory of her at the front door [plus I was really exhausted].
So I decided to stay at home. Like I always do. That night was one of the worst sleeps of my life.
Tue: 24 Sept 19.
Briefly awakened by familiar voices, I went back to sleep. It was my relatives from Malaysia who had come over for morning prayers. Thankfully, my Dad was around to open the door for them.
I continued to sleep because in my dream, I had flashbacks of a normal day with my Gmum around. A part of me still believed I would live to see another day with her. A few hours later, I was awakened by more familiar voices.
It felt as if I woke up beneath a different sky. The voices turned out to be my cousin Din and his family, which consists of my first nephew and niece, who kept yelling for me. I rushed to open the door, mucus still in my eyes due to my eye condition.
Adek [niece]: Yot mane?. [=Where's Yot? (aka my Gmum)]
EZT: Yot sick...
Adek: Yot sleep?? Inside?.
Think she's just used to coming over and seeing Gmum here that it just came out of her. Realizing she hasn't taken off her sandals, I told her to do so outside so she ran back out for a bit.
Which I then turned to Din and asked "by the way, how is she?" and he solemnly replied "Nyai already passed away, they bringing the body here". I felt my heart tear apart!!
I was like "Ok, I'll get ready then" as Din and his wife settled themselves to help to further set up the house. Before I left to wash up, Adek was just standing there hugging a plush toy, looking at me. Could she possibly know that I'm heartbroken?!
So I asked her for a hug [which she ran towards me and let me give her a big one] before breaking down in the toilet. Not like it's a surprise, but it still hurts somehow, and a lot.
When things settled a little, I found out that Gmum was on life support this morning and they decided to not proceed with the operation [that had a 3%ish success rate, and even if it was successful, she won't be fully functional]. I guess, this is the best solution that we all could and have to accept.
Little by little, the rest of the family has reached. Went to hug my mum when I saw her and she was like "at least she [Gmum] never suffered eh" in between tears. Can't agree more.
Everything else took so long yet it feels like it happened so fast. Despite not burning the midnight oil at the hospital, I remember being hungry and sleepy, and just trying to keep myself in a manageable state of mind.
I vaguely remember cutting up some Sara Lee cakes to which my adorable nephew and niece offered to be my assistants. While my nephew understood the situation, his sister was being her usual goofball self. Little did I know, they would be the mood vitamin/happy pill that helped to get me[/us?.] through this long, heavy day.
Before I knew it, I was seeing the corpse being brought into the house. Iqa [my nephew] asked if he could help when he's bigger. My Gmum used to say that Iqa is so naughty and witty but "dalam hati ada taman"[="there's a garden in his heart" aka he is a sweetie deep down]. She's right.
The mortician and some relatives bathed the corpse, and next thing I knew they opened the batik cover to reveal the face. This is really it.
Gmum looked adorable, even in death. I haven't seen her look so peaceful in a long time. We took turns to kiss the corpse goodbye, as we all try to hold back our tears.
After everyone had their turn, we found out that the burial will be held back as my Gmum is a Malaysian and they need to liaise with them about some things. It was tough seeing her body just laying there for a few hours. Thankfully the neighbours and other relatives came down and they too managed to see and kiss her off, so I guess it was worth it.
Once we got the green light, we went downstairs to proceed with the funeral process. I saw another old grandmother-relative and it was so good to see her still alive, as I did not get to go around much last Raya due to my contraction of chicken pox.
Nyai is finally in a casket. We all then got in a bus to head to the burial site. I sat with my sister and there was this air of mixed feelings in the bus. So many thoughts went through my mind, and I bet it was the same for everyone else's.
When we reached the spot, the funeral conductor guided in burying the casket properly, before saying more parting words. I briefly remember nagging at Adek for playing with the rocks near the grave, and Iqa saying "bye Yot~" as I watch Aunt Kay, my mum, and Uncle Joe pour a pandan leaves and flowers solution on the grave.
The rest of us then got to sprinkle a handful or two of flowers on the grave, while I get to let go of the rest of those in the bag. What a sight.
On the way back in the bus, Iqa and Adek kept sticking to my mum and making audible jokes that got the rest of us a little cheered up in such sorrowful situations.
The rest of the day flew over my head. As expected, my Gmum is famous!. There were many people who came down non-stop to send their condolences. Some I haven't seen in the longest of times.
It's as though, I feel my heart being glued back up, but the glue has yet to dry.
Not sure if I'm just anti-social or was tired; it felt like some people overstayed their welcome. However, most guests were really nice and kind. I can't thank you all enough!!
Between asking if I'm okay, if I will be okay, sharing your parting regrets and stories about the deceased and listening to mine. Worrying about the future together. Thank you...
Honestly, I generally don't grief. It does however, put my soul at ease at the very least. We all slept hard and hardly slept that night.
Aftermath
Wed: 25 Sept 19.Woke up to the death certificate in the family Whatsapp chat. She has passed on after 78 years of life, while I am currently 28 years old. I can't help but think of my last memories with her.
More guest came over in the morning, and it wouldn't stop raining. I wasn't trying to over-dramatic, but I'm glad some people noticed it and messaged me about it.
Prior to this, I had a non-refundable staycation booked on impulse due to a limited time offer. It would be a waste to not go, so I forced myself to go out. The moment I left the house, it felt as though someone was watching over me.
I ate and slept to my heart's content, void of any unnecessary interactions. Had some time to gather my thoughts over a great hot shower, waste time with generic media, and consumed steaming hot cup noodles and tea in the comfort of an air-conditioned room.
Here's a random list of things I recalled:
- Her last request of me was to help buy a body soap. She only managed to use some of it :')
- My last fond memory was watching this year's NDP on tv with her and my siblings. She was fasting that day, and I happened to bring back the pricey and coveted Don Don Donki's Yakiimo/Sweet potato. Baked sweet potato is one of her favourite snacks, and she kept asking if I "really" didn't want it anymore.
- During March, my mum had a birthday bbq and Adek, Gmum and I were resting in the rooms. Gmum was lying on the bed and I was texting on my phone. Adek careseed Gmum's forehead and hair while saying "sayang, Yot~". Gmum and I chuckled upon hearing it.
- Unfavourable accidental PTSD: Her scaring me of the downwards escalator, feeding me sausage that has gone bad
Regardless, good and bad, no doubt she is one of the 100 Most Influential People of my time and world.
Thu: 26 Sept 19.
Upon checking out, I proceeded with my day as per normal. Even got dragged to food tasting event before reporting to work.
Not sure if they didn't expect me to come, but it felt like my workmates were walking on eggshells. The day went by pretty fast and painlessly until,..
I went for a toilet break and as I was walking into the bathroom, an old grandmother figure came out and nodded her head in acknowledgement of my presence.
Somehow "bye bye~" left my mouth and she repeated it back to me. When I got into the cubicle, I had a mini-breakdown at the toilet bowl.
The sad realization that I would never get these fleeting moments of interaction with my Gmum hurts.
I collected myself and went back to work, before reaching home and being stuck outside as some relatives had came over to collectively pray for my late Gmum.
Since I came back with many plastic bags from the staycay, the kids got curious and I gave Iqa and Adek a muffin each. As expected, they made this time a lot less sadder than I think it would be. I'm so glad I went to enough family gatherings to experience my Gmum's companionship in it's full glory.
Thanks to the evolution of technology and my vanity, I am glad to have some photos to remember her by. This small spread pales in comparison to our bond, but there's barely anything else that I have much left.
 |
| 2017: Matching tops at 3D museum in Thailand |
 |
| 2017: Being touristy somewhere weird in Thailand |
 |
| Raya 2017: She was laughing at us recording Boomerangs lol |
 |
| Raya 2019 |
 |
| 4 Generations |
 |
| Parent's Bday BBQ: Sneak shot of her chilling in the chalet with me |
 |
| Dealing with 2 cuties |
 |
| Having some serious cute conversation I suppose |
 |
| All green #OOTD leaving for Gold Coast, Australia |
 |
| 2019: At Surfers Paradise, photobombed by some hot woman |
 |
| Holding my cup of hot mocha in chilly Gold Coast Airport. Think she took a sip or two lol |
 |
| Rare moments of her smiling playing with the Coral Sea waters |
 |
| Her last vacation to Malaysia, being her #likeaboss self |
What more can I say, Nyai is truly a work of art, just like Starry Night :)
CONCLUSION
Have you ever loved someone, only to have the same amount of energy returned back at you?. That's how it is between my grandmother and I. She is my go-to person for certain things as much as I am to her.
Even in our conflicts, we are [laugh if you have to] Scorpio and Sagittarius through and through. Strong, intense, trustworthy. Not only did she directly prepared me for life, she also indirectly prepared me for her death.
For the first time that I can remember, I actually trusted God's planning. With that said, I still have some unhappiness left to sort out. For example, I have actually planned to co-write a book with her since last year.
I have also planned to take out a loan to start a small F&B business where I intended to let her have a hand as part of an active retirement activity. Most importantly, about a month ago I booked my December birthday staycation at the same exact hotel that I went to last year because I enjoyed the stay and wanted to bring Gmum and she agreed to come with.
Even in our conflicts, we are [laugh if you have to] Scorpio and Sagittarius through and through. Strong, intense, trustworthy. Not only did she directly prepared me for life, she also indirectly prepared me for her death.
For the first time that I can remember, I actually trusted God's planning. With that said, I still have some unhappiness left to sort out. For example, I have actually planned to co-write a book with her since last year.
 |
| Lazy pic of the first draft. Don't steal my idea kthx |
There were also other experiences I held off to share with her that never got fulfilled. Sometimes I find myself still sending stuff from Instagram into her DMs. I am still coming to terms with referring to her as my late grandmother.
I hope the 75% of 2019 that has passed have been kind to you too. May we all always have the strength to live life till the very last moment in time.
Thank you. :)
Dear Nyai,
There are no words to express how much you mean to me. I've said it before and I'd say it again, I'm so glad and thankful to get to spend the extra birthdays and Raya(s) with you.
I wouldn't have dreamed in a million years to meet someone with such a big brain, heart, and the guts to match.
I hope the afterlife will treat you better than I could ever manage to.
Love always,
from your IT helpdesk/Kitchen Helper/Money Changer/Shopping Assistant/Food Influencer/Grand-daughter
EZT S8.
