Hot Issue : Tinder Danger #internet #romance #scam

I don't usually blog about personal stuff like this but it's a big deal to me as of now and I just want to put it out there for anyone who's interested/cares.

Match

Still fresh into the online dating world I swiped right on this cutie named Daebak. In my almost-a-decade experience of being a "SingaKorean", I've honestly never met anyone named as that.

Didn't think much of it but when we matched he changed his name so I had to ask [and screenshot]. I was quite happy when he introduced himself and asked for my social media, although a bit disappointed in the name change.

Oops perhaps I forgot to censor a few things. Who wouldn't want to chat with this cutie?! :)

Since I said I'm not the kind of girl who'd snitch, I will keep his identity vague. Would probably do it anyway because at least I have some respect for others.

Chat

So we moved on to Facebook messenger. The first conversation was a dead one [like it always is] and we did not contact each other again.

At least until one day when out of nowhere I decided to say hi. We talked a little, everything seems normal.

I was pretty happy when he chatted me up again on the same day, happier that he asked if I wanted anything from his trip. What a trip it was going to be!~

Suddenly he's in Korea already?! Suspicious to most but I do have friends who come and go to Seoul on impulse so I gave him the benefit of a doubt.

We talked more and I expected nothing out of it, but things escalated quickly and suddenly out came "the talk".

He started contacting me everyday. Everything was nice and sweet until...

The Odd Request

Things just got crazy. This good-looking sweet 25 year old co-pilot [supposedly from a local airline] dude, is asking me for something so lewd?!

This might already be a red flag to most of you but I do know of LDR relationships where couples send each other private photos and it's actually quite normal and can be funny even.

Needless to say, it's also too serious to soon.

The Crazy Curious Cat

I'm no prude, mostly everyone around me knows I'm quite the attention-seeker and I don't really have much qualms with being sexy. However, I hate to show skin and I'm very much a prideful person with a borderline unhealthy sense of dignity.

With that said, I still went ahead. Thinking that I was/am a legal rational adult. Besides, it sounds like a pretty okay deal no?. Judge me all you want but I know some of you thirsty people who'd send unsolicited nudes even when there's no real offer in place.

Did I mention his reply sounds rather.. promising?. Pun intended. Sadly, things got really awkward.

Another red flag for most of you would be how he insisted on using Facebook Messenger and that it's the "safest". We all know it isn't!!

For all I know he could be real, but as far as I care it's just empty promises on fake rewards and ridiculous excuses.

Personal Worries

I really don't mind being a little naughty, especially in the context that I'm asked nicely and it's in the promise of a better future. Small price to pay for a lifetime partner-in-crime~ ;)

Naturally, I wanted to know who I'm dealing with before going further. Another red flag: how our "relationship" is based on whether I agree to follow...

Despite the constant reassurance, it all just seems so shady... Like mentioned earlier, I am a someone with pride so I wasn't going to let go easy.

I hate how flippant he is "if you don't want to do it then don't", at the same time giving minor emotional blackmail with things like "you already showed me can't you just listen for a while more" and "don't make me more stress".

It is not my nature to be wishy-washy. For a stubborn and decisive person like me to change my mind, something must be really happening!. He even made such requests and based it on things like his family name and "man's pride". Well baby I'm a put on a show kind of girl~~ ;)

Never thought I'd look at myself in my underwear. I wear full body swimsuits!! Doing this brought me the intense flashback that happened five years ago. If you know, you know~

To be honest, I rather not be put through such trials for whatever rewards there could possibly be. Bothers me to my last nerves how the relationship is so dependent on this, and how he's so shady about everything.

I've been to casting calls where "talents" were made to do such acts to be considered for a role but to do it via text in the exchange for a romantic relationship was a whole new thing to me.

The more he insists I won't regret, the more I thought that I would. Plus I didn't want to spend my life with a leeching mama's boy!! To make things worse, sometimes he'd do a few things that actually made him seem like he cared.

It was fasting month and my patience was running low. Know why it's hard to talk to me?. 1) I'm no despo to be waiting around for a message from a guy I don't know 2) We aren't even together 3) It isn't even a healthy conversation!!

It wasn't a case of me being "caught up in the emotional connection", neither was it my "main goal" to "keep it going", or that I "felt good to be of help",.. if you knew me in real life you'd know that I care about none of those!. Silly me did hoped it would lead to something more/better though, only to find more loopholes popping up as time passed by.

Pink flag: DANCE OVER BOYS. ANYTIME!! Red flag: HE DOES NOT USE KAKAOTALK!!

Sounds crazy right, but that was the biggest red flag to me. Earlier in the conversations he claims to be Korean. Racist as it may be, I know how perverted Korean men are so it didn't faze me. Since his Facebook mirrorfies shows that he's using Samsung phone[s] I gave him the benefit of a doubt until.. WHAT KOREAN DOESN'T HAVE KAKAOTALK?!

The only time a Korean won't tell you their KaTalk is when they're not interested in getting close with you!. Since he's so into wanting a future together it was beyond me how he didn't want to move this conversation elsewhere.

For someone who claims to be not interested in casual/play relationships, isn't he being a hypocrite?. All this "bullying" is play to me and I don't have time for games that aren't fun.

If that's not suspicious enough, here are more dubious claims!~ This odd request was supposedly only for a few/3 - 4days. A week had passed and he still asked for more, saying that his leave extended for another week and he's "very stressed".

How exactly am I supposed to believe that?. What if he doesn't even come back?! Spoiler but the end of this whole drama he blocked me. Can't imagine if I followed through and he just "ghosted".

One day I had some extra time on my hands so I spent some time snooping around. So many incoherent backstories!. Other than the fact that he did "like" the official page that he claims to be working at, the stated profile birthdate and the one he told me didn't match. The multiple name changes and the fact that his friends are set to private also makes thing a bit harder to believe.

The worst/main part is not knowing whether the person I'm chatting with is an imposter. Couldn't identify him on Google images either. Identity theft, maybe?.

Doesn't help the fact that he didn't have any other social media/internet presence. And every time pressed for some sort of clarification, I just get the same answer like a repeated machine - a pre-wrote script.

As much as I wanted to believe it's true, I wasn't buying it. Neither did I like the idea that my body could be of exchange to something else, even if it's indirectly. But my curiosity was peaking!!

Initially I didn't have to show my face, but as time went by he just kept trying for more. Are you kidding me?. Because my red flag was doubting his authenticity via Kakaotalk + since he's a pilot/has travelled a lot + I was really celebrating fathers day with my family and we were eating durian, I tried to throw a curveball to see if he's in character.

Because I was so brash in my initial decision I figured it's too late to turn back and I should just stick with it and hope for the best. I've already lost a huge part of myself, I'm not going to walk away without an air of finality.

SJGR

This picture did it for me. Granted it looked more natural, but things only got heated up for me.

Not only is this guy pervertic, he was starting to be controlling. Pink flag: Honestly. Can't you tell I'm working bitch don't bother me!!

Did you see it though?. Of course I won't let it slide!! I don't care if I gave excuses for hesitating on doing all those dirty laundry his reply was simply pathetic.

This was the part when I thought really low of him. I'm a sheltered yet open-minded 26 year-old woman with many interests in life, I've seen/been a lot of things that normal people don't. Met those who'd society would label as a disgrace/impure/nuisance, those who disappoint when I trusted them, those that were never worth my time and respect, but this takes the cake.

At first he said he understood how "hard" it was for me, and now he's just asking for it like how I'd go up to McDonalds and ask for chicken nuggets. Best part is, the next morning he just pretended that nothing happened. Please wake up your idea.

Frustrated beyond my wits, obviously I avoided talking to him even when I was done with work. But wait, there's more!~

By this time I was already concluding by the tone of voice and language used in his replies that he's probably not Korean. Got to love how it just adds more and more suspicion~

Let's be honest, it all seems too good to be true. Good-looking guy matched and added, suddenly falls head over heels over me, just so happens to be off the radar, gives baseless requests or statements, and be all dubious about it. Even anonymous fuckboys these days know that they got to act like a real person for anything to happen.

Supposedly this retarded "test" was because he was away on holiday. A simple hop to Tinder shows that from where I stay, he's just 5 miles away...

Okay maybe, just maybe, Tinder's GPS is inaccurate but I checked in at another location and it shows that he barely moved. You can argue that Tinder only updates the location the last time the user logs in, but as you can see he just switched his main picture. My point is; definitely not in Korea.

On the bright side, earlier in the relation$hit he said he stays at Alexandra road, and it actually tallies.

Can't help but think that perhaps he's just some old fat pervert who sits and home and preys on media girls [refusing to call myself an influencer!!] :(

Upon further swiping, he's actually a 2nd degree mutual of some people. So is he even real?! I won't mind if he turns out to be an old "imba" imposter if he fessed up.

The realest photo I received gave away the most. My fitness friends all pointed out that it looks like it's from Singapore. Some said Thailand, but a part of me is sure it's not in Korea.

All the other pictures that I asked of him looked a little too perfect, like a stock-image or some Instagram model. In this picture you can see that the guy in the background barely resembles a Korean.

Checked out his Facebook profile [which had very little and repeated pictures by the way] and found this. Dude has 2 phones?! More importantly, look at the sign behind!!

Yes I went all CSI about this. Since it's a mirrored picture I flipped it and tried my best to sharpen the image. Don't even try to tell me that the original instructions are in Hangul.

It's crazy how everything adds up yet seem incoherent at the same time. It felt like those imposters who'd pretend to be Korean to sell fake tickets to young girls for Kpop concerts to make a quick buck. If he claimed to be Thai, his scam-ish story would've been so much more believable. ᄒ

A part of me agreed to everything because I could relate to wanting to go wild before settling. Also quite liked the fact that he was straightforward about it. If you turn out to be real and this makes it to you, I hope you find the balls to meet me in real life like the real man that you based your empty promises on. Cut the lame excuses about how you don't do meetups for casuals. If you're really serious, show the f*ck up.

Bang Bang Bang

Back to the story, here comes the boom!.

If you don't probably know by now, I'm quite a tease. After losing his cool for what seems like he was tired of being dragged out more than what he bargained for and being unable to recover the situation, he finally said what I wanted to hear.

For the record, I would NEVER cheat on someone I'm in a REAL relationship with. This isn't one. Anyways it was during Ramadan aka other than eating and drinking, sexual activities are also supposed to be abstained from. Even masturbation.

"There's a lesson that I want you to learn, that's if you're gonna play with fire then you're gonna get burned." So I strung him along the supposedly final request.

If you can't tell by now I was already annoyed and it's pretty clear I wasn't having any of it. Even in more disbelief that he assumed I didn't know what to do in the bedroom/couldn't find someone to get laid. Who does he think he is?!

Sure I'm not the most sexually proficient/physically blessed/craziest, but to call me boring and make me seem more inadequate that I actually am when you can't even prove your own existence/credibility is too much for me.

On the bright side, at least he bothered to sugarcoat the whole deal. Even pretended to have deleted the previous stuff I sent him when I can clearly see it in the chat's media history. A bit surprised he had the guts to rush me!! HAHA.

No way am I going to forbid myself from my trusty Uniqlo pants!! And we were not allowed to speak of it ever again?. I've never met a man so "bothered" by being with a virgin!. By the way his choice of outfit was crop top and mini shorts [standard porn OOTD for those who don't know]. Ain't nobody going to be spending money for clothes I don't/won't wear~~

Frankly speaking the reason why I replied late was I was sharing about this with a few people and we were laughing at him being such a joke. Also partly convincing some others not to worry about me because they were quite affected that something like this is happening to me.

I guess it may hurt more when it's happening to someone else rather than yourself doesn't it?. Especially if you're those Feeling personality types. For us Thinking personalities the whole going back-and-forth and round-the-merry-go-bush was mind-boggling but it wasn't so difficult and quite entertaining. Got told off for thinking too much though...

Do I look like a prostitute?! Some time back he asked for a stripping video with a close-up of my vagina and at least half of my face inside ["with smile"]. Whatever happened to not needing to show my face though?!

My sexually active friends and I roughly discussed that if this were leaked, which category of porn will it falls under. If I had more time to play I'd ask him for a quick tutorial but this was a day before Hari Raya eve and ain't nobody got time for that.

Since somewhen in the conversation I've insulted him to the max, this time it was my turn; "room must be bright and video must be clear". I graduated studying Media Art, Majoring in Video Production!! That's freaking basic!~

So done!. Thought I could leave him hanging and he'll get the idea but thought wrong again!.

Resolution
In addition to him being needy and generally messaging me every other hour when he got nothing for me, and me naturally being an impatient, intolerant, bitchy person.. it was driving me nuts.

Someone once told me that 1) if in doubt, trust your gut 2) seek out advice from 2 other people when you are faced in the dilemma. Because I didn't want to waste any more time on this, I asked 2 close friends, and 3 "fwb/f*ckboys".

Yes, I am the closest thing to Pitbull Mr Worldwide 305. I use Kakaotalk, iMessage, and Line. That's barely the tip of the iceberg. International love!~ DON'T FUCKING CALL ME BORING, YOU BORING SEX-DEPRIVED MAN!!

Some were asked in person so I don't have their answers. I've never gotten such a unanimous response. Some of them are even more romantic/idealistic than I am!! For them to say what I wanted to hear really made things a lot easier!.

Of course I didn't film anything and adhere to his final wish. Oh so NOW he wants to talk to me?. When previously he would burn the bridge without any consideration??

Later I got on my computer and realized he raged quit and blocked me. Good riddance?.

As you can see, the pictures are still there. "Deleted already so can't remember", how about you do some scrolling?. Although it is already disgusting, it is even more so that you made it all about you and still want to play the victim card.

It hurts to think that I've been led on, and that I went through $hit for little to no returns. But I live life with no regrets. I might probably never know the other side of the story but until then I hope I can find it it myself to let it go.

Almost a year ago I made a video stating that my goal in life is to live life beautifully. I intend to not stray so far from it ever again.

Conclusion

You'll never think it will happen to you. I don't think I'm that smart to not fall for scams, but surely I'm not gullible. I'm a healthy, high self-esteem, educated woman!!

I think that's what bothers me the most. If it can happen to me, what more to innocent, compromising girls out there. So beware!~

No surprises, my nudes could possibly go viral. Let's just say I'm prepared to receive hate, and waking up to media about me with crude captions and sensationalized headlines. Nothing new.

On the other hand, it's beyond me how some Millenials actually do this, sometimes voluntarily, even without any promise of benefits. I still feel some shame and remorse from sending my first picture.

On the other OTHER hand, I'm glad and thankful that there are people out there, strangers and friends, who I am able to openly discuss this. Without judgement, with feelings.

Whatever it is, please don't be alarmed if you see me in a less desirable state. If you're feeling kind do flag it down. At the very least, please show some modesty if you're watching me. Here's my vlog explaining this crazy modern dating story for those of you who aren't very into reading.

If the 2% chance that he turned out to be real, I will take back what I said and apologize. Until then, I stand by the idea that it is my body and I have the right to do what I want with it, so I am not in the wrong. Even if it means doing it for an semi-sextortion case.

I'm partly amused that while other people are scammed for money, I was probably scammed for nudity. Please don't get me wrong, it is not something I am proud of. Please also do not think of me as those type who loves to humiliate men on social media.

As of now I just want to thank everyone for bearing with me through this period and on all we can do now is hope for the best. Everything happens for a reason~ ;)

I would/could have typed this out more accurately but I got lazy. All is true though!! Don't want to make it into a pity party Korean drama so I've left out some stuff. Hope I've gotten my points across. All contents are solely mine, if re-quoted please credit back to this blog :)

© EZTS8.