At least until one day when out of nowhere I decided to say hi. We talked a little, everything seems normal.
We talked more and I expected nothing out of it, but things escalated quickly and suddenly out came "the talk".
He started contacting me everyday. Everything was nice and sweet until...
This might already be a red flag to most of you but I do know of LDR relationships where couples send each other private photos and it's actually quite normal and can be funny even.
Another red flag for most of you would be how he insisted on using Facebook Messenger and that it's the "safest". We all know it isn't!!
For all I know he could be real, but as far as I care it's just empty promises on fake rewards and ridiculous excuses.
Naturally, I wanted to know who I'm dealing with before going further. Another red flag: how our "relationship" is based on whether I agree to follow...
Despite the constant reassurance, it all just seems so shady... Like mentioned earlier, I am a someone with pride so I wasn't going to let go easy.
I hate how flippant he is "if you don't want to do it then don't", at the same time giving minor emotional blackmail with things like "you already showed me can't you just listen for a while more" and "don't make me more stress".
It is not my nature to be wishy-washy. For a stubborn and decisive person like me to change my mind, something must be really happening!. He even made such requests and based it on things like his family name and "man's pride". Well baby I'm a put on a show kind of girl~~ ;)
To be honest, I rather not be put through such trials for whatever rewards there could possibly be. Bothers me to my last nerves how the relationship is so dependent on this, and how he's so shady about everything.
It was fasting month and my patience was running low. Know why it's hard to talk to me?. 1) I'm no despo to be waiting around for a message from a guy I don't know 2) We aren't even together 3) It isn't even a healthy conversation!!
It wasn't a case of me being "caught up in the emotional connection", neither was it my "main goal" to "keep it going", or that I "felt good to be of help",.. if you knew me in real life you'd know that I care about none of those!. Silly me did hoped it would lead to something more/better though, only to find more loopholes popping up as time passed by.
Pink flag: DANCE OVER BOYS. ANYTIME!! Red flag: HE DOES NOT USE KAKAOTALK!!
Sounds crazy right, but that was the biggest red flag to me. Earlier in the conversations he claims to be Korean. Racist as it may be, I know how perverted Korean men are so it didn't faze me. Since his Facebook mirrorfies shows that he's using Samsung phone[s] I gave him the benefit of a doubt until.. WHAT KOREAN DOESN'T HAVE KAKAOTALK?!
The only time a Korean won't tell you their KaTalk is when they're not interested in getting close with you!. Since he's so into wanting a future together it was beyond me how he didn't want to move this conversation elsewhere.
For someone who claims to be not interested in casual/play relationships, isn't he being a hypocrite?. All this "bullying" is play to me and I don't have time for games that aren't fun.
If that's not suspicious enough, here are more dubious claims!~ This odd request was supposedly only for a few/3 - 4days. A week had passed and he still asked for more, saying that his leave extended for another week and he's "very stressed".
How exactly am I supposed to believe that?. What if he doesn't even come back?! Spoiler but the end of this whole drama he blocked me. Can't imagine if I followed through and he just "ghosted".
One day I had some extra time on my hands so I spent some time snooping around. So many incoherent backstories!. Other than the fact that he did "like" the official page that he claims to be working at, the stated profile birthdate and the one he told me didn't match. The multiple name changes and the fact that his friends are set to private also makes thing a bit harder to believe.
The worst/main part is not knowing whether the person I'm chatting with is an imposter. Couldn't identify him on Google images either. Identity theft, maybe?.
Doesn't help the fact that he didn't have any other social media/internet presence. And every time pressed for some sort of clarification, I just get the same answer like a repeated machine - a pre-wrote script.
As much as I wanted to believe it's true, I wasn't buying it. Neither did I like the idea that my body could be of exchange to something else, even if it's indirectly. But my curiosity was peaking!!
Not only is this guy pervertic, he was starting to be controlling. Pink flag: Honestly. Can't you tell I'm working bitch don't bother me!!
Did you see it though?. Of course I won't let it slide!! I don't care if I gave excuses for hesitating on doing all those dirty laundry his reply was simply pathetic.
This was the part when I thought really low of him. I'm a sheltered yet open-minded 26 year-old woman with many interests in life, I've seen/been a lot of things that normal people don't. Met those who'd society would label as a disgrace/impure/nuisance, those who disappoint when I trusted them, those that were never worth my time and respect, but this takes the cake.
At first he said he understood how "hard" it was for me, and now he's just asking for it like how I'd go up to McDonalds and ask for chicken nuggets. Best part is, the next morning he just pretended that nothing happened. Please wake up your idea.
Frustrated beyond my wits, obviously I avoided talking to him even when I was done with work. But wait, there's more!~
By this time I was already concluding by the tone of voice and language used in his replies that he's probably not Korean. Got to love how it just adds more and more suspicion~
Let's be honest, it all seems too good to be true. Good-looking guy matched and added, suddenly falls head over heels over me, just so happens to be off the radar, gives baseless requests or statements, and be all dubious about it. Even anonymous fuckboys these days know that they got to act like a real person for anything to happen.
Supposedly this retarded "test" was because he was away on holiday. A simple hop to Tinder shows that from where I stay, he's just 5 miles away...
Okay maybe, just maybe, Tinder's GPS is inaccurate but I checked in at another location and it shows that he barely moved. You can argue that Tinder only updates the location the last time the user logs in, but as you can see he just switched his main picture. My point is; definitely not in Korea.
On the bright side, earlier in the relation$hit he said he stays at Alexandra road, and it actually tallies.
Can't help but think that perhaps he's just some old fat pervert who sits and home and preys on media girls [refusing to call myself an influencer!!] :(
Upon further swiping, he's actually a 2nd degree mutual of some people. So is he even real?! I won't mind if he turns out to be an old "imba" imposter if he fessed up.
The realest photo I received gave away the most. My fitness friends all pointed out that it looks like it's from Singapore. Some said Thailand, but a part of me is sure it's not in Korea.
All the other pictures that I asked of him looked a little too perfect, like a stock-image or some Instagram model. In this picture you can see that the guy in the background barely resembles a Korean.
Checked out his Facebook profile [which had very little and repeated pictures by the way] and found this. Dude has 2 phones?! More importantly, look at the sign behind!!
Yes I went all CSI about this. Since it's a mirrored picture I flipped it and tried my best to sharpen the image. Don't even try to tell me that the original instructions are in Hangul.
It's crazy how everything adds up yet seem incoherent at the same time. It felt like those imposters who'd pretend to be Korean to sell fake tickets to young girls for Kpop concerts to make a quick buck. If he claimed to be Thai, his scam-ish story would've been so much more believable. ᄒ
If you don't probably know by now, I'm quite a tease. After losing his cool for what seems like he was tired of being dragged out more than what he bargained for and being unable to recover the situation, he finally said what I wanted to hear.
For the record, I would NEVER cheat on someone I'm in a REAL relationship with. This isn't one. Anyways it was during Ramadan aka other than eating and drinking, sexual activities are also supposed to be abstained from. Even masturbation.
"There's a lesson that I want you to learn, that's if you're gonna play with fire then you're gonna get burned." So I strung him along the supposedly final request.
If you can't tell by now I was already annoyed and it's pretty clear I wasn't having any of it. Even in more disbelief that he assumed I didn't know what to do in the bedroom/couldn't find someone to get laid. Who does he think he is?!
Sure I'm not the most sexually proficient/physically blessed/craziest, but to call me boring and make me seem more inadequate that I actually am when you can't even prove your own existence/credibility is too much for me.
No way am I going to forbid myself from my trusty Uniqlo pants!! And we were not allowed to speak of it ever again?. I've never met a man so "bothered" by being with a virgin!. By the way his choice of outfit was crop top and mini shorts [standard porn OOTD for those who don't know]. Ain't nobody going to be spending money for clothes I don't/won't wear~~
Frankly speaking the reason why I replied late was I was sharing about this with a few people and we were laughing at him being such a joke. Also partly convincing some others not to worry about me because they were quite affected that something like this is happening to me.
I guess it may hurt more when it's happening to someone else rather than yourself doesn't it?. Especially if you're those Feeling personality types. For us Thinking personalities the whole going back-and-forth and round-the-merry-go-bush was mind-boggling but it wasn't so difficult and quite entertaining. Got told off for thinking too much though...
Do I look like a prostitute?! Some time back he asked for a stripping video with a close-up of my vagina and at least half of my face inside ["with smile"]. Whatever happened to not needing to show my face though?!
Since somewhen in the conversation I've insulted him to the max, this time it was my turn; "room must be bright and video must be clear". I graduated studying Media Art, Majoring in Video Production!! That's freaking basic!~
So done!. Thought I could leave him hanging and he'll get the idea but thought wrong again!.
In addition to him being needy and generally messaging me every other hour when he got nothing for me, and me naturally being an impatient, intolerant, bitchy person.. it was driving me nuts.
Someone once told me that 1) if in doubt, trust your gut 2) seek out advice from 2 other people when you are faced in the dilemma. Because I didn't want to waste any more time on this, I asked 2 close friends, and 3 "fwb/f*ckboys".
Yes, I am the closest thing to Pitbull Mr Worldwide 305. I use Kakaotalk, iMessage, and Line. That's barely the tip of the iceberg. International love!~ DON'T FUCKING CALL ME BORING, YOU BORING SEX-DEPRIVED MAN!!
If the 2% chance that he turned out to be real, I will take back what I said and apologize. Until then, I stand by the idea that it is my body and I have the right to do what I want with it, so I am not in the wrong. Even if it means doing it for an semi-sextortion case.
As of now I just want to thank everyone for bearing with me through this period and on all we can do now is hope for the best. Everything happens for a reason~ ;)